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"Put Me to Rest!"
By: The Pathetic Chair
Please put me to rest
I gave it my best
To be strong and stand the test
But now I admit I've lost my zest
Under my seat is all torn
My wheels are dusty and worn
My existence is full of scorn
It's true my future is forlorn
I cannot go on! I have no desire!
Replace me, toss me, or light me on fire!
It's my time to go!
It's time to retire!
I'm so pathetic I have no back
Luster and support is what I lack
This life I can no longer hack
Give my owner the Alera---that chair has the knack! |
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If my chair could talk I think it would say,
What? Already? I thought it was Sunday!
She's back again, and what can I say,
but I think she ate the whole weekend away.
She didn't feel this heavy on Friday,
the food must have been good, is all I can say!
I don't know what she could be thinking,
does she think the rips in me are shrinking??
Does she have a clue what it does to me,
when she plops her rump down.....can't she see?
My tear isn't getting any smaller,
if she only knew the names I call her,
she wouldn't be happy about what I say
when she sits on me the entire day.
So, please consider her a winner
and maybe take her out to dinner.
I need a vacation and maybe repair
Vote for Kim, she needs a new CHAIR. |
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Hello… I would like to introduce myself… They call me Bon Bon's chair.
I have been around for quite some time. I have been abused like no other!
Believe me…. I have been sat on, climbed on and don't even get me started on how many things have been spilt on me!!!! Oh Gross!
I kinda have a lean to my posture you can only imagine what caused that!!
Although I have gotten my revenge on several different occasions.
My hydraulics has gotten stuck and I almost bucked my "sitter" on the floor.
I have been adjusted up and down and around to the point that I looked like a car (mechanics) creeper!!! Now if you don't mind I would like to tell you about my mileage… I have more miles on me than I have time to tell you about. I will tell you like it is… I think my odometer has been turned back "way back".
This chick that sits on me and abuses me and she has moved me so many times!
I have been out on the sidewalk in the street moving me from office to office.
My wheels have been rotated so many times to the point that they are no longer round!
So if anyone needs to retire IT IS ME!
I really can't speak for the chick who thinks she owns me… but she really needs a new chair to start on her second go round of moving from office to office. (she is a good person she just gets to switch positions a lot) |
| Thank you to all of our fantastic entries. It was very difficult to choose from all of the great stories. |
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